There’s this problem always of being unsatisfied with anything that goes on…
this urge for change..
to go ahead of where one is and at the same time to stay and relax and think..
none of these happen…
all that happens is a run
a continuous fight against fate willing it to change..
never feeling good about what it sees us as..
rather wanting it to see us the way we want to..
and then end up in despair..
only to get up and go on again..
on this corner of the road I stand waiting for a signal…
Another example of how Google by its sheer existence keeps me entertained. Don’t ask me what I was trying to sell but..
..breast milk? How? why?.. I mean, how!!
Sometimes the days of minimal choice seem ..well.. attractive. You know those days when want was more and get was very very less. I am a child of consumer culture .. the difference between wanting and having is usually a credit card swipe…well, except when its a Ferrari (don’t have the credit limit) So anyways, lately, I sort of don’t like that side of me. A few days ago when my mom was visiting from India, we went shopping. Something we hadn’t done in years. Something I miss. Not that we ever agree on anything. Anyway, she has been someone who has always given up a lot of her choices and wants to make sure her daughters and husband were well taken care of. Which I have only started appreciating after I left home. Someone who rarely has more than 3 pairs of shoes in her closet.. earlier because she couldn’t afford to and now even when she can, because its become habit.
She let me buy her a pair of heels that day.
She didn’t say much but her face was aglow… Her simple and pure joy at buying a pretty thing..from her daughter.. I still tear up every time I remember her face. And wonder.. is having more.. of everything.. caused us to become so jaded to lose the meaning of simple joys?