One of my favorite bloggers, wrote a poignant post exploring the need for a ‘defined’ self. It reminded me of a poem which we learnt in school, the Pulley, which has always stuck with me. The possibility that restlessness, is a steady state for man.. Of others, I don’t know, but it holds true for me. I am not an extraordinary brain .. just your average Jane and yet I have never felt satisfied. With a good life, a great job, amazing family. Having everything that is considered a privileged life.
Its never about having more.
Its always about having ‘right’. and what is right, I don’t know ..yet. Not knowing what I want can become a major hurdle in getting it..sounds paradoxical..
but that’s what it is.. the constant longing of wanting to be in a place where I’m not. The constant desire to be at peace.. which I am told can only be found within me. It is in me that I can seek the answers to my questions. But the questions .. they are yet not complete..
When God at first made man,
Having a glass of blessings standing by;
Let us (said he) pour on him all we can:
Let the world’s riches, which dispersed lie,
Contract into a span.
So strength first made a way;
Then beauty flow’d, then wisdom, honour, pleasure:
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
Perceiving that alone of all his treasure
Rest in the bottom lay.
For if I should (said he)
Bestow this jewel also on my creature,
He would adore my gifts instead of me,
And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature:
So both should losers be.
Yet let him keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlessness:
Let him be rich and weary, that at least,
If goodness lead him not, yet weariness
May toss him to my breast.
— George Herbert
Totally messed up exposure.. but I still like it.
I have had such a horrible horrible week that I need a little daydreaming..
like retiring and setting up a quaint little bookstore with cozy lounge chairs and a coffee bar..
in a sleepy coastal village..
overlooking the beach ..
will full length glass windows..
plus i have not had a chance to leave the apartment to take pictures.. so here is the current bunch of books on my night stand. All of them being read as per the mood..
the running favorite.. Les Miserables.. by Victor Hugo..cannot beat the classics..
Do you have favorite book recommendations for me?
I’ll put it out there that I am a die hard optimist. Even after multiple heart breaks, watching my country go through terror and having army friends posted at the border, I still believe in fairy tales and prince charming and world peace.
But does that mean that one should always stay positive? This constant badgering around to stay positive and focus on the good at all times is getting to me a little. Critical thinking is imperative in life. It helps us prepare for the worst when taking big risks. It causes us to teach our children to stay away from strangers. It ensures that we save money for a rainy day. We need the dark to make the light effective.
Some times, it’s okay to say the glass is half empty.
..and apparently its red.
A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.
Gently rolling hills do have a place in the landscape..
..they don’t have the soaring ecstasy of mountains..nor the lows of the valleys
when nothing much is happening.. but the lines are clean and the colors are beautiful.
Those quiet moments when life paces at a steady rhythm.. listening peacefully to its own heartbeat..