My woman of substance

365photos 2011, musings, Self

Happy women’s day to all you fabulous women out there!

I’m not usually one to celebrate ‘days’. I always get flak for forgetting birthdays and anniversaries so the media endorsed ones are farther away. But women’s day is a different case. Not because I’m a bra-burning feminist but because I have experienced how hard it is being a woman even in the 21st century. Seeing all the great women around me having to struggle on a daily basis for simple joys makes me want to say something. If tomorrow, all women unite and refuse to give birth, it would be an interesting day for the human race.

The woman who makes me feel proud of being a woman is my mother. Because being our mother is not her only identity. She and my dad had a love marriage 30 odd years ago and they have been together now for almost 41 years. If you know India, you can imagine that is a pretty big rebellion for a woman in those times. Her parents-in-law never really accepted her but she made sure she took care of them till their last breath. She used to act in theatre as a young woman. She wanted to study law. But she fell in love and chose her family instead. She does not regret that at all but it gives me a pang of sadness sometimes thinking what might have been.

This captures her personality very well.. of a smiling person with a quiet strength who appears to be a supporter but is in fact the inspiration

So today’s day is for my mom.
A woman who has stood by her family in good and tough times.
Who has weathered the many setbacks her health has thrown to her with a smiling face and a grit I have never seen in anyone else.
Who supported her husband’s dream of building a business by making sure that the family was taken care of.. financially and emotionally.
Who is always there for anyone who wants her time.
Who is an avid reader and thinker.
Who actually reads my blog, comments and gives me feedback. Again, knowing some of the other women from her generation, it’s a huge deal that she is internet savvy.
Who is nearing 60 and yet doesn’t look a day over 40.
Who has a sense of humor and her childlike wonder intact.
Who always makes sure she is well dressed every time she steps out.
Who after 41 years can still laugh with her husband.
Who has a kind encouraging word for me every time.
Who has stood by me in all the disappointments I have caused her.

She is my woman of substance.

Tell me about yours..


Don’t know where that came from..

musings, Thinking out loud

Sometimes the days of minimal choice seem ..well.. attractive. You know those days when want was more and get was very very less. I am a child of consumer culture .. the difference between wanting and having is usually a credit card swipe…well, except when its a Ferrari (don’t have the credit limit) So anyways, lately, I sort of don’t like that side of me. A few days ago when my mom was visiting from India, we went shopping. Something we hadn’t done in years. Something I miss. Not that we ever agree on anything. Anyway, she has been someone who has always given up a lot of her choices and wants to make sure her daughters and husband were well taken care of. Which I have only started appreciating after I left home. Someone who rarely has more than 3 pairs of shoes in her closet.. earlier because she couldn’t afford to and now even when she can, because its become habit.

She let me buy her a pair of heels that day.

She didn’t say much but her face was aglow… Her simple and pure joy at buying a pretty thing..from her daughter.. I still tear up every time I remember her face. And wonder.. is having more.. of everything.. caused us to become so jaded to lose the meaning of simple joys?