Confidence in nonsense is a requirement for the creative process

It’s only words..


Do words make a difference in real life?
These tons of letters and sounds we pile up on each other ..
let out in the universe..
do they cause change?
The question arose in the midst of tears this morning.. in the line to pay the electricity bill
which i had forgotten.. and was threatened with the prospect of a fanless dark night
in front of me was a guy.. an elderly guy whom I would call Dadaji..
tall..6 feet ..fair..a white turban and a dhoti..walking with a cane
black glasses making his eyes invisible..
bent due to age.. must be about 80..
the standing in line for 2 minutes was causing him pain..
the bill guy wanted to send dadaji back..
as government employees are wont to..
because he was a couple of days early before the deadline (that was a new one for me)
Dadaji tells the bill guy that he has waited since 7.30 in the morning
and its very hard for him to make the trip..
bill guy asks him to send a kid the next time
dadaji’s quivering voice becomes sadder..
if I had someone to help, would I be here?
the bill guy takes pity and accepts his money
and then dadaji in impeccable english and giving us a hint of the man he was in the past says
‘In the future I will make sure to come on time..badi meherbani’
and he repeated the phrase .. ‘in the future’
as if he was reminding himself ..
a minute later I saw him waiting for a cab
and of course he hailed the one I was in, rushing to work …
and I couldn’t decide between letting him take the cab and being late to work..
in that moment of indecision, getting late to my A/c office to my plush job seemed the priority
and I lost the chance to make the tiny difference
and of course then I cried more.. mostly with anger..
and now am sitting in the same cooled office with coffee in hand
spewing words which wont make any difference..instead of working..
it’s a day to hate myself..

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9 responses

  1. I beg to differ. You ARE a writer. What do writers do? They write. 😉

    And don’t be so hard on yourself. We all do crappy things at times, unfortunately. Like your previous poster said, hopefully we learn from those mistakes. The important thing here is that it bothered you. I wouldn’t be too concerned until you find yourself not caring. That’s when you know you’ve really got problems.

    January 24, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    • dhaami

      True that! But sometimes the world needs more than our concern or care. It needs action and I feel we, as humans, fail too often in that aspect. And its not necessarily our fault. We are tied down my too many inhibitions..

      January 27, 2011 at 11:37 am

      • Yes, I would agree with that statement. And it reminded me of a quote: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men stand by and do nothing. (commonly misattributed to Edmund Burke, origins are unknown)

        January 28, 2011 at 9:17 am

      • dhaami

        That’s a great quote!

        January 29, 2011 at 2:19 am

  2. and yeah…dnt wry we have become so thick skinned that we get used to this very fast..!

    May 20, 2010 at 7:06 am

    • dhaami

      True.. but i really love writing.. even though I am no writer, I find the process enjoyable and I guess I’ll keep at it even though it makes zero difference. But getting a thick skin is what I’m most afraid of..

      May 20, 2010 at 10:38 am

  3. well, truly you are right,…this is one of the reason (other than lack of time) sometimes i get demotivated to write on a blog…
    it dosnt help at all….
    anyways.,….wanted to write a big reply…but again…it will b only words…

    May 20, 2010 at 7:06 am

  4. Oh I can understand, but dont worry, sometimes we all do things we dont really want to, and later on we cry about it, but we ‘re allowed to make some mistakes, and then learn from them…I liked reading this, it was kind of consoling and inspiring for me too

    May 17, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    • dhaami

      🙂

      May 18, 2010 at 9:52 am

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